psychogenic, psychological, psychotic.....
Ok so I'm assuming by now everybody interested has taken the challenge of saying HYPOGAMMAGLOBULINEMIA 5 times fast. If you successfully completed that, new challenge spell it, without the use of the internet. Clue: it has 21 letters, and it all relies on the correct pronunciation to break down syllables. I have been dealing with this disease for quite some time and even I can't spell it correctly. When I am being asked about my history and I mention it, even in the medical profession I am asked to spell it and even sometimes asked what it is. In reality the definition is quite simple, a type of primary immune deficiency disease, however the simplicity stops there. This is a generalized diagnosis and many different diseases fit under, and since there are so many immune and auto immune diseases, patients may never get that actual diagnosis. There are two types, transient and genetic, and earlier the diagnosis the better long term control, transient can go away and genetic does not. In my case although we have not been able to track down the genetic connection it is believed that I was born with it but I was not diagnosed with hypogammaglobulinemia till roughly 18. Not that I didn't have the symptoms but because kids get infections and colds and coughs throughout there childhood, immune deficiencies are very under diagnosed. So to put it simply I have a chronically low white blood cell count and a very low level of immunoglobulin's, which are proteins that help fight infections. People with hypogammaglobulinemia typically have a lot of respiratory problems, which pediatricians will diagnose as asthma or allergies, sinus and ear infections, pediatricians will treat with antibiotics, and gastrointestinal disorders, pediatricians will diagnose as stomach bugs or viral infections. However children that due have undiagnosed hypogammaglobulinemia will get these infections more often, more serious and will take a lot longer to recover from. After reading the above information you are probably wondering what this has to do with the title, so first I will save you your Google search and here are the definitions:
I also just want to put it out here that some of my feelings and theories not everybody is going to feel the same way. Comments and opinions as always are welcome but please no disrespect.
So as a child I had a lot of tantrums and anti social behavior, was referred to child psychiatrist, who did not diagnose me as psychotic, but determined that I had a hard time dealing with change. Around the age of 5, I was dealing with the death of my grandfather, moving and changing schools and trying to fit in to a new class while dealing with eye patches and un attractive glasses. OBSTACLE COMPLETED AT THAT TIME WAS NOT DIAGNOSED AS PSYCHOTIC.
Throughout my child hood I was a treated for various infections, however it seemed as though my mom was not taken seriously when I appeared or complained of being sick. I don't really remember being too sick until high school. I had a very loud, croupy sounding cough that I used to get made fun of for. When I did go to the doctors with the cough they referred me to a pulmonologist, that diagnosed me as having a psychogenic cough, simply translating to attention seeking cough. Unfortunately that was not the completion of that obstacle, in fact that started a very rocky road, filled with more and more obstacles at every turn. I am still on that road still not able to see the finish line.
At an early age, it was seen that I was not a very graceful person and I also was not a very good athlete, but my mom, single mom of 5, pushed at it and made sure we all participated in sports. Although I was never very good at much, I was a very competitive person from the beginning and I definitely think that has helped all along the way. I really did not like team sports too much because I knew I was not very good and I would always take it to heart and blame myself for losses. However, my mom never gave up on me or any of us, in life or in sports etc.. There was one person that really saw potential in me from watching a few Wednesday night track meets, back in the summer of 8th grade. He ended up being the track coach at MHS and he saw possible potential, and he became a very good mentor for me. He saw something in me, something others did not. From the beginning of high school, he did what he could to get me competing at a high level. My freshman and sophomore years I was winning awards at all different levels. Coincidentally my favorite events turned out to be relays, hurdles and field events, that were similar to obstacle courses. He even had scouts looking at me. However there was one thing that he could not do and that was keep me healthy, healthy enough to compete, healthy enough to attend school and healthy enough to graduate with my class.
I started having really bad asthma attacks at school, a few times even having 911 called. I wanted to compete but my lungs were revolting against me. It is hard to say if this would have happened had I been diagnosed and treated with an immune deficiency earlier, but the past is the past. I continued competing as much as I could, I even remember spending a long Friday night in the ER with my brother because I had broken out in hives all over my body and trouble breathing. I knew that I needed to be on the bus early the next morning to attend a state meet, however I do remember my mom calling coach that night to tell him she didn't think I was going to make the meet. I did make that bus still covered in hives, I remember sitting at the high jump mat waiting for my turn and I knew I was being stared at cuz I'm sure I looked freakishly covered in hives. I don't recall doing very well at that meet but it sure did show my perseverance. Unfortunately, things did not get better, I did not compete to much my senior year, because I was not able to make it to school to often. In order for me to even graduate I had to get a tutor. But graduation did come OBSTACLE COMPLETED
Before starting my senior year of high school I had already gotten accepted to UML and signed on to there track team. Unfortunately that ended up being short lived. One of the first practices with the team I ended up in the ER, and things got worse from there. I was having asthma and allergy attacks frequently, to frequent. The training staff for the team, paramedics, RD and RA's( resident directors and resident advisors), and nurses and doctors at the local hospital became very familiar with me. I tried very hard to stay apart of the team, but my physical body was trumping my mental strength at that time. Both my legs, shins and knees had stress fractures and at one point my leg was so bad the team dr took me to ER, in fear of a tumor or blood clot. I was only able to compete in about 4 meets before having to quit the team for medical reasons. I was fighting just being able to stay healthy enough to attend classes. I think at some points, I was the only person that believed I would finish on time with a degree, but I did, in fact double major. OBSTACLE COMPLETED
At one point, my new PCP, had come to see me while I was admitted at metro west and she had even questioned if it was possible that my roommates could be poisoning me. This question came after my drug test had shown use of barbiturates. I didn't even know what that word meant. She did come back to let me know that the medication she had recently put me on for migraines fell under that category. No apology, however she was fired and OBSTACLE COMPLETED
I could continue on but for this post, I am going to stop it here. From 2004 and on things have not gotten any easier and the obstacles keep coming. But as I remain strong, I believe that I have been given this path starting back when I first started enjoying relays and obstacle courses. Sometimes it is easier to give a diagnosis of psychological status then to reach outside the box, look for zebras. It is actually said in the medical field "when you hear hoofbeats you think of horses, not zebras, but sometimes you need to look beyond the horses and look for the zebras"
- psychogenic-- is one that originates from the mind instead of a physical organ
- psychological--of, affecting, or arising in the mind; related to the mental and emotional state of a person.
- psychotic--Psychosis is a loss of contact with reality that usually includes: False beliefs about what is taking place or who one is (delusions) ; Seeing or hearing things that aren't there (hallucinations).
I also just want to put it out here that some of my feelings and theories not everybody is going to feel the same way. Comments and opinions as always are welcome but please no disrespect.
So as a child I had a lot of tantrums and anti social behavior, was referred to child psychiatrist, who did not diagnose me as psychotic, but determined that I had a hard time dealing with change. Around the age of 5, I was dealing with the death of my grandfather, moving and changing schools and trying to fit in to a new class while dealing with eye patches and un attractive glasses. OBSTACLE COMPLETED AT THAT TIME WAS NOT DIAGNOSED AS PSYCHOTIC.
Throughout my child hood I was a treated for various infections, however it seemed as though my mom was not taken seriously when I appeared or complained of being sick. I don't really remember being too sick until high school. I had a very loud, croupy sounding cough that I used to get made fun of for. When I did go to the doctors with the cough they referred me to a pulmonologist, that diagnosed me as having a psychogenic cough, simply translating to attention seeking cough. Unfortunately that was not the completion of that obstacle, in fact that started a very rocky road, filled with more and more obstacles at every turn. I am still on that road still not able to see the finish line.
At an early age, it was seen that I was not a very graceful person and I also was not a very good athlete, but my mom, single mom of 5, pushed at it and made sure we all participated in sports. Although I was never very good at much, I was a very competitive person from the beginning and I definitely think that has helped all along the way. I really did not like team sports too much because I knew I was not very good and I would always take it to heart and blame myself for losses. However, my mom never gave up on me or any of us, in life or in sports etc.. There was one person that really saw potential in me from watching a few Wednesday night track meets, back in the summer of 8th grade. He ended up being the track coach at MHS and he saw possible potential, and he became a very good mentor for me. He saw something in me, something others did not. From the beginning of high school, he did what he could to get me competing at a high level. My freshman and sophomore years I was winning awards at all different levels. Coincidentally my favorite events turned out to be relays, hurdles and field events, that were similar to obstacle courses. He even had scouts looking at me. However there was one thing that he could not do and that was keep me healthy, healthy enough to compete, healthy enough to attend school and healthy enough to graduate with my class.
I started having really bad asthma attacks at school, a few times even having 911 called. I wanted to compete but my lungs were revolting against me. It is hard to say if this would have happened had I been diagnosed and treated with an immune deficiency earlier, but the past is the past. I continued competing as much as I could, I even remember spending a long Friday night in the ER with my brother because I had broken out in hives all over my body and trouble breathing. I knew that I needed to be on the bus early the next morning to attend a state meet, however I do remember my mom calling coach that night to tell him she didn't think I was going to make the meet. I did make that bus still covered in hives, I remember sitting at the high jump mat waiting for my turn and I knew I was being stared at cuz I'm sure I looked freakishly covered in hives. I don't recall doing very well at that meet but it sure did show my perseverance. Unfortunately, things did not get better, I did not compete to much my senior year, because I was not able to make it to school to often. In order for me to even graduate I had to get a tutor. But graduation did come OBSTACLE COMPLETED
Before starting my senior year of high school I had already gotten accepted to UML and signed on to there track team. Unfortunately that ended up being short lived. One of the first practices with the team I ended up in the ER, and things got worse from there. I was having asthma and allergy attacks frequently, to frequent. The training staff for the team, paramedics, RD and RA's( resident directors and resident advisors), and nurses and doctors at the local hospital became very familiar with me. I tried very hard to stay apart of the team, but my physical body was trumping my mental strength at that time. Both my legs, shins and knees had stress fractures and at one point my leg was so bad the team dr took me to ER, in fear of a tumor or blood clot. I was only able to compete in about 4 meets before having to quit the team for medical reasons. I was fighting just being able to stay healthy enough to attend classes. I think at some points, I was the only person that believed I would finish on time with a degree, but I did, in fact double major. OBSTACLE COMPLETED
At one point, my new PCP, had come to see me while I was admitted at metro west and she had even questioned if it was possible that my roommates could be poisoning me. This question came after my drug test had shown use of barbiturates. I didn't even know what that word meant. She did come back to let me know that the medication she had recently put me on for migraines fell under that category. No apology, however she was fired and OBSTACLE COMPLETED
I could continue on but for this post, I am going to stop it here. From 2004 and on things have not gotten any easier and the obstacles keep coming. But as I remain strong, I believe that I have been given this path starting back when I first started enjoying relays and obstacle courses. Sometimes it is easier to give a diagnosis of psychological status then to reach outside the box, look for zebras. It is actually said in the medical field "when you hear hoofbeats you think of horses, not zebras, but sometimes you need to look beyond the horses and look for the zebras"
Comments
Post a Comment